"Choose you this day whom ye will serve, but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." Joshua 24:15

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

The Worst Silence in the World...

For me, one of the worst silences in the world is when one nurse, and then the next, and then even the doctor (with an ultrasound) puts the doppler on my pregnant stomach and we can't hear a heartbeat. In 2 more weeks I would be 20 weeks along and excitedly going for my ultrasound to learn if the baby was a boy or girl.  Thursday I had a worried feeling because I hadn't felt movement for a while.  We made a surprise visit to the doctor's office to see if there was a heartbeat and they kindly took us in.  This is when we learned that our precious little darling is no longer alive. The doctor said the baby was perfectly formed and measured the perfect size for 18 weeks.  He said it appeared that there might be a kink or knot in the cord that had cut of the circulation.  We are very sad to miss out on getting to know this little one and see all the cute things he/she would do. We were all so excited about having another  baby.  Loosing a baby in the spring while the trees have blossoms, the flowers are blooming,  the sky is so blue, the grass is getting green, and we look forward to Easter, seems to bring comfort to my heart because I KNOW that  because of the gift of Christ, we will all be resurrected and if it is the Lord's will, we will get to see these little ones that we have lost.
We spent 2 days in the hospital as the doctors and nurses tried to induce labor, but not a single contraction came. We finally decided to give up on the torture method and let nature have a say in it. General Conference on Saturday was a life saver for me as we sat listening in the hospital room and felt the Lord's spirit and were reminded of the things that matter most.
I am eternally grateful for the Lord's Plan of Happiness, and we find great joy in the children and blessings the Lord has already given us.



1 comment:

Chocolate on my Cranium said...

We are still praying for you! Hopefully nature decides sooner rather than later to get a move on.

Jane and Natalee are having a great time with Abby and Debbie. Thanks for letting them come up and play!